My Once and Future Love Read online

  “’Ello.”

  “I’m glad you’re home,” I said.

  “Bethie? It’s good to hear your voice, love. How’d it go?”

  “We have to wait another day or two for results. My parents are trying to pretend everything’s normal and I hate it.”

  “I’m sorry, baby. Wish I could say somethin’ to make it better.”

  “Listening helps. They don’t want to talk about it. I don’t even know if they’ve told my brother.” I sighed. “What did you do today?”

  “Slept late, thought about you in the shower--”

  “Oh my god…”

  “You asked,” he said, and chuckled.

  “You are so dirty.”

  “And you like it.” His voice dropped to that tone that made my knees weak. Hello, wet panties.

  “When it’s…appropriate,” I said. He laughed again.

  “Got you to smile, didn’t I?”

  “Yeah… Did you do anything out of the house today?”

  “Nope, except for picking up takeout. Been writin’.”

  I liked the sound of that. “A new song?”

  “Parts. Spent more time on course work--”

  “You’re not in classes right now.”

  “—so I won’t get buried this term.”

  “You…were studying ahead?” It didn’t compute in my brain.

  “Yeah. If I’m gonna have time to talk to you, I can’t slack off like usual, can I?”

  “No…well, I…I’m impressed.” And touched.

  “Advantage of makin’ friends ahead of me—I know what profs always assign the same crap every year. Between jobs right now, so I got the time.”

  “It’s a good plan.”

  “Thank you.” He dropped the defensive edge to his tone. “What are your plans until moving day?”

  Summer plans? I hadn’t thought about it since coming home. “I don’t know…depends on Mom’s diagnosis, I guess. If she needs…if there are needs, I want to help.” Had to. “Well, I shouldn’t run up the phone bill…”

  “Alright, love. Call me whenever you want to, though, okay? I miss you.”

  “Miss you, too, Jacob. Bye.” I hung up, though it hurt to do so.

  It sucked more than ever to be on opposite sides of an ocean. I craved him physically, and not just his kisses or his touch. There was a place he filled in my soul I hadn’t known was empty.

  ****

  When the house phone rang at eight the next morning, I knew it was the doctor. Sure, it could’ve been a telemarketer or something, but I just knew—this was it. I stared at the phone next to my bed and waited for someone to pick it up. It stopped after two rings.

  A door opened and shut down the hall. Dad left for work at seven, so it had to be Mom unless he called in sick. I waited with the sheet kicked off my legs, staring at the ceiling.

  Ten minutes later, a soft knock on my door.

  “I’m awake,” I said.

  Mom came in, still holding the phone.

  “It was bad news, wasn’t it?” I asked without looking at her face.

  “Yes, honey. My doctor has some time this afternoon, so I’ll be going by the office and hearing my options.” She sat on my bed. “Beth, just because it’s cancer, that doesn’t mean we’re looking at dire circumstances, okay?”

  I nodded. “Yeah, Mom. I know,” I said for her sake. She patted my leg and left the room.

  But I didn’t know. There were too many variables and I didn’t like that one bit.

  Mom went into her dark room. I got up to get ready for the day and cried in the shower so she wouldn’t hear me. After dressing, I called Jacob. His voice mail picked up, so I left a short message and dialed Vivian’s. When she was unavailable, too, I left a note on the refrigerator saying I had an errand to run, and walked to the park.

  It was a small park, with only a swing set and a jungle gym to climb on, surrounded by a bit of grass. Jacob and I used to come here when he needed to burn off energy to focus. I’d drill him on test questions while he pumped on the swing high enough to be parallel with the ground.

  Always feared he’d screw up and crack his head open going so high. I sat on a swing—my usual middle-right position—and swayed for a while. It wasn’t the same without him.

  Dad wasn’t home, yet, when Mom needed to leave for her appointment, so I went along. The doctor didn’t mind me being there, so I took notes. Writing everything down gave me something to focus on other than the word cancer echoing in my head. They were going to do further testing, she said, to find out exactly what type Mom had, and schedule surgery to remove the tumor.

  “Depending on the size and aggressiveness of the tumor, we’ll discuss whether a lumpectomy or more significant removal of tissue is appropriate.” She slid some pamphlets across the desk to my mother. “These can answer some basic questions, and there’s some info in there about local support groups.”

  “Alright. Thank you, doctor,” Mom said.

  She was quiet through most of the meeting, listening to the doctor explain technical terms and procedures. If I hadn’t been there, I’m not sure she would have asked any questions at all.

  “You okay, Mom?” I asked as we were leaving.

  She smiled for me. “Just a lot to take in, honey. Would you mind driving home? Think they took enough blood for a donation.”

  I took the keys. “What was all that for, anyway?”

  “She said she likes to give the patient a physical before starting treatment.”

  “Hm. Better than going in blind, I guess.” I pressed the button for remote unlocking the car.

  “Yep.”

  When we got home, I made her eat something. Dad came back from work at his usual time—didn’t she call him with the diagnosis?—and they disappeared in their room for a while. Dinner was another awkward event.

  ****

  Unless you went through cancer before or knew someone that did, you didn’t know about the waiting. I wanted that damn lump out of my mother yesterday, but apparently operating rooms didn’t sit around empty and waiting, and tests results didn’t magically reveal themselves.

  Friday night, I lay awake staring at the ceiling again, trying to fall asleep. It was well past midnight when I finally dozed off.

  Tap, tap, tap-tap tap…

  Two bits.

  Wait…

  I rolled toward the sound and opened my eyes. A dark shape was outside my window. I sat up and bolted out of bed, ready to call for my father.

  “Beth, open the window,” the man said in a hushed voice. He stepped back a foot and the moon illuminated his outline.

  Oh my god… I pushed up the window, careful not to make a sound. “Jacob, what are you doing here?” We reached for each other and kissed over the windowsill. Oh my god…

  He climbed inside without breaking contact. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I tilted my head to deepen the kiss, my tongue dancing with his. His scent enveloped me, an essence of home just as much as my bedspread or my father’s old recliner in the den.

  “How?”

  “Mum sent me to pack up the house, though I think she was just sick of me mopin’ all week,” he said around kissing my neck. His hands slid under my tank top.

  “You were moping?” God, he was the sweetest boyfriend…

  He thumbed my nipples. “Needed to be here.”

  Our lips met again and I felt my skin flush with heated anticipation. When he started to lift my top, though, I broke away.

  “Not here. My parents,” I whispered.

  “Come home with me.”

  I nodded. He climbed out my window while I put on a tee and shorts over my PJs and slipped my feet into a pair of Keds. I placed a pencil under the window once I was outside so I could open it later and followed him over the fence. He caught me when I dropped down off the cement wall.

  We barely made it inside before starting to shed clothes. My tee and tank hit the floor together.

  “I’m so glad you’re here,�
� I said, lifting his shirt over his head.

  He cupped my breasts and bent his knees to kiss the tips, then yanked my bottoms down. My shoes slid off with my shorts, leaving me naked in his kitchen. I needed him too much to feel shy, and took his face in my hands and kissed him again. He picked me up.

  When I landed on a bed, it was in his room. He unfastened his jeans and dropped them to the floor. Aside from in the shower the morning I left England, it was the first time we were naked with a light on. He crawled onto the bed into my open arms.

  It didn’t occur to me something was missing until I felt him start to slide in me. “Condom!” I blurted out.

  That oh shit look crossed his face and he pulled away. “Right!” He rummaged in the main compartment of his suitcase on the floor and came back to bed properly gloved.

  “Now, where were we?” he asked, sliding home.

  “Unh… Missed you.” I wrapped my legs around his hips.

  “Missed you more.”

  “Did not.”

  “Did too.”

  “Enough talking,” I said, and shut him up with my mouth. The pace of our coupling picked up as we made up for five days apart.

  He didn’t last long, at least for us, and collapsed on top of me, panting on my neck. I whimpered and wiggled my hips, close to release but not close enough.

  “Need something, baby?” he asked, though his hand was already snaking between us to rub my clit.

  My body tensed, then released wave after wave of pleasure. I bit his shoulder to keep from crying out in his ear. Warmth flooded through me and I felt the week’s tension fade away. If he let me, I could finally fall asleep.

  Jacob had other plans.

  Chapter Twelve

  Bright light hit Jacob’s face. He squeezed his eyes shut tighter and rolled over to hide from the sun. Long hair tickled his nose. What the…?

  Beth. As the haze of sleep cleared from his mind, he remembered the night before, and falling asleep sated and holding her. She’d rolled onto her side away from him, the sheet tucked under her chin.

  He reached up and pulled the drapes closed above his bed, shutting out the offending light, and cuddled up to her back.

  “Mmm…what time is it?” she mumbled.

  “Don’t know. Sun’s up.”

  She squirmed her hips forward an inch. “Quit poking me.”

  “Morning wood. Can’t help it.”

  “Geesh.”

  He grinned and snuggled closer again. Holding her was really comfortable; he could get used to this. “Will you be missed?”

  “Nah. It’s Saturday.” She rolled partially onto her back. “We do our own thing in the morning.”

  He kissed her nose. “Good. Rather sleep in.”

  She smiled. “We were up late.”

  “Mmm.” He put his head down on his pillow. “Startin’ to like this weekend trend, Miss Lawson.”

  She rolled to face him. “Me, too.”

  He’d keep her in bed until their stomachs made too much noise to ignore if she let him. They’d christened his bed in a hell of a fashion, only stopping when she couldn’t keep her eyes open any longer. He pulled the sheet over their bodies, wrapped his arms around her with her head on his shoulder, and that was the last thing he remembered. Fell right to sleep for the first time in days.

  Her eyes were closed again.

  “You asleep, love?”

  “No,” she replied, and yawned. “Sorry. Probably have morning breath.”

  “Nah.”

  She opened her eyes. “How long are you here?”

  “Long as it takes to box everything up.”

  “Are you going to miss the house?”

  A fair question. He’d lived here more years than he hadn’t. “Some. I’ll miss climbin’ over your wall more.”

  She smiled. “A lot of memories in two years. I’ll miss your mom being next door, too. You’ll both be so far away.”

  He kissed her pout. “I’ll miss comin’ back to the ol’ place, no question. When I left for uni, I thought I missed England…and I did, but L.A. might tip the scale of home a bit more.” He laced their fingers together. “And now there’s you.”

  “Jacob…”

  He kissed her before she started crying, before he laid his heart out too soon, and wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her closer. She moaned into his mouth, her hand clutching his shoulder. He loved her soft skin, especially when there was so much of it available to his fingers, and stroked her back, over her ass, and down her thigh. She curled her leg over his hip.

  She broke away from the kiss. “Do you have any more…?” Her brows rose, and he caught her meaning.

  “Don’t know.” He grinned. “Last night was intense.”

  She smiled back, but her cheeks turned pink. “Uh-huh.”

  “You okay?”

  “Yeah. Sleepy. And hungry.”

  He brushed her hair behind her ear. “Could see what’s around for breakfast.”

  Her nose wrinkled up. “You can move.”

  “I spend eleven hours on a plane and you want to be waited on?” he teased.

  “Yup.” She popped the “p” at the end.

  Now he was thinking about food, his stomach started gurgling. “Fine…but don’t think this’ll be a habit, missy.” He got out of bed and grabbed his jeans.

  She watched him pull them on, her hands propping her head up on the pillow. Though he knew he was a good-looking bloke, it thrilled him to see her admire him so blatantly. Put a bit more cock into his walk. He left the jeans unbuttoned.

  The refrigerator was mostly bare, his mother making sure she didn’t come back to a rotting kitchen. Too bad there was no milk for cereal…

  ****

  I never thought I’d be naked in this bed listening to Jacob hum in the kitchen. Even through all the years of wanting him to kiss me, I never thought farther than I’d trust him to be my first. Now, I was thoroughly twitterpated, and had sex over two nights with my best friend, the change in our relationship just hours shy of two weeks old.

  Frea-ky.

  But awesome. This week would’ve been a lot harder without him answering my calls.

  My bladder said it was time to get up, so I found my underwear and his t-shirt and used his bathroom. The girl in the mirror made me do a double-take. My hair was a rat’s nest and I had a dark purple hickey on the side of my neck above my collarbone. There was no way of hiding that mark without wearing a turtleneck.

  I walked into the kitchen and slugged his arm. “Are you trying to get me in trouble?”

  “Hey! What are you on about?”

  “This. I told you not to leave obvious marks.”

  He touched it. “That’s a good one.” He grabbed the waffle that popped up out of the toaster. “Ooo, hot.”

  “Dumb-ass. My dad is going to freak when he sees my neck!”

  “Wear a scarf,” he said with his mouth full. “It’d be cute.”

  I rolled my eyes and grabbed the apple he left on the counter. “I don’t have a scarf, or a short-sleeve turtleneck, or make-up thick enough to hide this thing. You realize you have to flee now before he kicks your ass.”

  “Is he really going to notice with all that’s goin’ on, Bethie? A love bite’s a bit insignificant right now. Just hide it with your hair or somethin’.”

  “Mom will notice and she’ll tell him, and she’s smart enough to put two and two together if they know you’re in town.”

  “What, you never made out in high school?”

  “No.”

  “Not ever?” He asked like he couldn’t imagine people existing with such a history.

  I looked away. “Kissing you was the first time I kissed anybody.”

  “Wow.”

  He took my face in his hands. “I’m honored.”

  I blushed. “Shut up. No fair being sweet when I’m annoyed with you.”

  He gathered me into his arms. “If it’ll make you feel better, I’ll take you shopping.” He look
ed down. “Are you naked under my shirt?”

  “God, you have a one-track mind.”

  “Didn’t answer my question.” His hands slid under the hem of the tee.

  I batted his hands away before he could distract me with their talents. “Quit that. I’m mad at you.”

  He grinned. “No, you’re not.”

  Okay, I wasn’t mad, but definitely inconvenienced. The hickey was not a good thing to come home with and I wished I could hide out until it faded, which, with my fair skin, couldn’t come soon enough.

  “Don’t wanna play, Jacob.” I sat on one of the dining chairs and bit into the apple.

  Seeing me genuinely put out, his demeanor changed and became more contrite. “I’m sorry, love. I’ll remember next time.”

  Guess it bothered me so much because it reminded me I was still a kid in some ways, and stuff like this was only the beginning of things that would chafe until I struck out in the world on my own. The dorm still awaited, but with Mom’s diagnosis… Well, I hadn’t decided if I could leave home, yet. On the one hand, I’d have freedom. On the other, I’d worry.

  He touched my shoulder. “Hey, what’s going through that head, kitten?”

  “Lots.” I rubbed my forehead. “Too much, lately.”

  He moved a chair close to mine, sat, and put his arm around my shoulders. I leaned into him.

  “I’m here, okay?”

  “I know. Until you have to leave.”

  He didn’t reply to that, and I didn’t ask him to. We sat cuddling until the mood settled and we could turn our attention back to food.

  After breakfast, I wanted to get dressed, but needed a shower somethin’ awful. We went through a round of you go—no, you go and ended up with him using his mother’s bathroom and me using his. I braided my hair over the side with the bruise, which sort of concealed it.

  “What would you like to do today?” he asked, leaning casually on the doorframe.

  “Aren’t you supposed to box up the house?”

  “Technically, but I think I’m allowed to spend a day with my girl.”

  I’d never get tired of hearing that—my girl. “I don’t know…” I looked in the direction of my house. “Mom might need something.”

  “We could go to the beach, take your camera, escape the heat a bit…”