My Once and Future Love Read online

  Not close enough…

  He’d tugged me to sit sideways on his lap, but twisting to kiss him was uncomfortable. I straddled his hips—much better.

  “Want you,” he said, his voice rough with passion.

  I shook my head. “Not yet.”

  He nodded, and the next kiss was slower. The rhythm he intended to cool things down with backfired on me, though. My heart pounded in my chest and heat suffused my body, focusing deep in my belly.

  He broke away. “Beth, you keep rubbin’ on me like that and I’m not goin’ to be responsible for the consequences.”

  “Huh?” This must be what they meant by “lust-addled brain”.

  He placed one of my hands on his fly. Whoa. That was, um…

  “I’m hard enough to hammer nails, love, to borrow a phrase.”

  There’s no way that’s fitting in-- “Oh, um…sorry. I should go, um…” I gestured toward the house.

  “Maybe. Yeah.”

  It’d work better if you got off the boy’s lap, Beth.

  We stared at each other, breathing in unison. “I’m gonna leave. Any second now.”

  “Uh-huh.” He leaned closer, his reply touching my lips as well as my ears.

  “Yep.” Speaking with our mouths touching might’ve been the most erotic thing I’d experienced this weekend.

  Sighing, I made full contact again, a junkie for his kisses. He moaned and pressed me closer with a hand on my low back. If I could crawl inside him, maybe I could satisfy this ache…

  I sucked in a breath. He dipped his head to bite my neck where it met my shoulder.

  “I need…”

  “Tell me, baby.”

  Baby…I liked that. “Unh…I can’t think with you this close.”

  He rolled me onto my back. “Thinking’s overrated.”

  Okay…wait, I was going to do something…I needed to… “Go. I mean, I should go.”

  He lifted his head to stare at me. “Now?”

  I nodded. This was about to go where I couldn’t come back from.

  Rolling onto the mattress, he said, “Better run, then.”

  Scrambling to my feet, I glanced at him. His blue eyes were dilated black and naked longing was written on his gorgeous face. Part of me wanted to throw sense to the wind and learn what he could teach me.

  I ran out, not slowing down until I reached the other side of the maze.

  ****

  When I woke up the next morning, his motorcycle was gone. Vivian and I had a light breakfast, then set out for more sightseeing. We took the tour of the Tower, I shot photos of the Bridge, then we explored the British Museum.

  “Tomorrow, we can drive over to Stratford-upon-Avon, and perhaps Jacob can take you on one of those ghost tours this week.”

  “I’m all for the Shakespeare. Not so much with the scary stuff.”

  She shrugged. “Just a thought. Really, there’s more to do around London than you’ll have time for, so I’m sure we can keep you entertained.”

  “That’s why I packed a guidebook.”

  She put a hand on my arm. “Would you rather go off alone? I don’t want to…crimp your style?”

  “You’re not,” I assured her. “I might take a day before I leave, but I love spending time with you. My mother would be wandering the parks taking pictures of strangers, Dad would drag me to every war museum, and Jacob would be bored to tears looking at old books. You like what I like.”

  She smiled. “Lucky for us, then, isn’t it.”

  “Absolutely.”

  As the day went on and she was so nice, I felt guilty about kissing her son behind her back.

  “Can I ask you a hypothetical question?” I asked at lunch.

  She set her fork on her plate. “Of course.”

  “Say you had feelings, and even kissed someone, but you’re not sure if it can work. How do you know?”

  “Hmm, does the hypothetical object of that affection share those feelings?”

  Stirring the straw in my soda, I watched the ice float in circles. “I don’t know. Maybe.”

  “Well, you would only know if you tried, but the effort would have to be equal from both sides. If you want different things, that’s something that has to be settled.”

  Figured as much. “Hypothetically, is it okay to put off a relationship for a while, then? Can a person be asked to wait?”

  “Elizabeth, is there something you want to tell me?” Her right eyebrow arched just like Jacob’s did when he had a hunch.

  I shook my head, maybe a little too hard. “No, no. Just thinking...”

  She smirked. “Hypothetically.”

  “Yeah.” I felt the blood rushing to my cheeks and tried to relax before I blushed like a beet.

  “Well…” She picked up her fork to resume eating her salad. “It’s just my opinion, but I think Jacob should court you properly, or not at all.”

  “J-Jacob? What— I mean, there’s…there’s no Jacob,” I sputtered.

  “Mmm-hmm.”

  “I didn’t say anything about--”

  “Elizabeth. I’m not blind. Only the incredibly oblivious would miss the flirtation between you two since we arrived.”

  This time, I did blush. “Oh.” What all had she seen? “What do you think?”

  She reached across the table and took my hand. “I’m quite fond of you, I hope you know that. I’d be happy to welcome you as a daughter…when you’re ready. However, I promised your parents a wholesome and educational trip, and I’m pretty sure a summer fling doesn’t fall under those guidelines.”

  “I don’t want a fling.” I pulled my hand away.

  “Forgive the way that sounded. That was not my intent. You’re a good girl, dear. I worry more about my son’s intentions more than yours.”

  Hey. “Jacob is a good man.”

  She nodded. “He is. He has a good heart. He’s also young, and usually gets his way, and I don’t think he’s mature enough to be what you hope, Elizabeth.”

  “What does that mean?”

  She smiled kindly. “That I don’t think it’s the right time for you, dear. Maybe in a few years. Maybe ten--who knows? But, I’d hate to see you hurt unnecessarily when the distance wasn’t realistic in the first place.”

  Logic sucks.

  “Maybe I won’t like UCLA.”

  She sighed, but the smile was still in place. “Maybe you won’t.”

  Chapter Six

  Jacob stayed away Monday. When he called the house on Tuesday, he discovered they were already gone and would be out the whole day. Now, it was Wednesday, and Beth hadn’t called, either. He knew—he made sure his voicemail worked.

  Maybe he’d scared her into avoiding him. Be easier, perhaps, if they could put the weekend behind them and be best friends again. Easier…but lacking, maybe. He didn’t know what it was that made the two of them a combustible entity when in the same room alone, but he’d never felt something so powerful. So amazingly sexy.

  If they could just…

  Well, there he went, thinking with his dick again. Bethie, because she was Bethie, deserved better.

  She deserved a guy in a time zone less than eight hours ahead, frankly. Someone who could take her to movies and dinner and that sci-fi convention she secretly wanted to attend. A guy who would carry her books to class and rub her neck when she got stiff from studying for finals. Someone that remembered the chocolate sprinkles on her hot chocolate. A bloke who was friggin’ there.

  And that wouldn’t be him for years, if ever.

  Could he tell her that? Could he be selfless enough to let her go?

  Question of the bloody year, mate.

  ****

  Thursday morning, and I hadn’t seen or heard from Jacob since Sunday night. Guess that was it, then…no sex, no interest. Of course, he could be busy with the band or whatever, but still…couldn’t a girl get one phone call?

  Ooo, maybe his mother got to him! That could be it. It was a nicer thought than him only wanting me for my
body, so yeah…sticking with that one for now. I’d blame Vivian!

  Then again, that might be unfair to my good friend and he really was an asshole when it came to women.

  See how my brain works? Help me! I groaned and dropped my head on the table.

  “Miss Elizabeth?” One of the servants.

  “I’m fine. Sorry for the noise.”

  She smiled. She was young, maybe just a couple years older than me. “I find a nice walk or bicycle ride helps when my mind is overburdened.”

  “Probably a good idea. Thank you.”

  She nodded and left me to finish breakfast. I’d slept in today, so Mrs. Lindsey was already out of the house.

  I left a note on the refrigerator saying I’d be back by dark and set out alone. A dusty bike from the garage was my getaway. Didn’t know how far I’d go, but the scenery of manicured gardens and stately mansions was worth wandering. The scent of roses carried on the warm breeze.

  Rode for a half hour or so when a familiar motorcycle passed going the opposite direction. Hoping he hadn’t spotted me, I kept going. Got about five minutes further, and the red bike pulled up next to me.

  “Whatcha doin’, love?” Jacob asked.

  “What does it look like?”

  “Okay…serves me right for askin’ an obvious question. Where are you going?”

  “Nowhere. Anywhere. What’s it to you?” Couldn’t I get one afternoon of peace to myself?

  He accelerated the bike to cut off my path. “Why are you biting my head off?” He removed his helmet.

  “I’m not.”

  “Uh, beg to differ, pet.”

  I rolled my eyes and sighed. “Fine, think what you like. Can I continue now?”

  “Can I get a clue why you’re mad at me?”

  I crossed my arms over my chest. “Haven’t heard from you in four days. It’s a bit rude.”

  “You didn’t call me, either.”

  “Been busy. Try leaving a message.”

  “I called on Tuesday.”

  He did? “I didn’t hear about it.”

  “Not my fault.”

  “Fine.”

  He shut the bike off. “I missed you.”

  “Huh.” Don’t give in, don’t give in…

  He dismounted and walked the few steps to me. “I see you, and I don’t want to let you go.”

  Gulp.

  “You didn’t feel for me at all before Saturday.”

  “So you say.” He placed his hand on mine. “You know how I am—once I decide to do something, I jump head first.”

  “That doesn’t change the fact that I’m going back to L.A. and you aren’t.”

  “Don’t have to be back until September.”

  I pulled my hand away. “I can’t stay that long. My parents would never allow it.”

  “You’re an adult, Beth. What can they do?”

  Grasping for straws, I said, “My Dad could threaten to pull the plug on my tuition.”

  He shook his head. “He wouldn’t do that.”

  “You don’t know. My dad can hold a grudge a long time. My brother left when I was eight, Jacob. He hasn’t been back because Dad didn’t approve of what he wanted to do with his life. Mom couldn’t bear losing both of her kids. I won’t do that to her, not even for you.”

  “Does that mean you’d never leave L.A.?”

  “I…” I glanced away. “I don’t know. I don’t know what’s beyond college.”

  He touched my cheek. “With your grades, you could go anywhere, you know.”

  “What are you asking?”

  “I’m not…I’m just sayin’ you shouldn’t be afraid to explore your options. You’d survive your father’s disapproval, Bethie.”

  “Maybe.” A headache blossomed in the center of my forehead. “God, you really can complicate things, Jacob.”

  His kissed my head and hugged me, rubbing my back. “I don’t mean to.”

  I chuckled, because it was better than crying. “I know.”

  Thankfully, this wasn’t a busy street in the middle of a work day. We would have been an odd sight, hugging on a bicycle.

  His shirt was damp under the jacket, the July weather too hot for leather if he wasn’t at speed. I sat there resting my chin on his shoulder until my butt started to go to sleep on the seat. He released me when I loosened my arms.

  “Where would you like to go?” he asked, tucking my hair behind my left ear.

  I shrugged. “I could use a laugh.”

  He nodded his head to the motorcycle. “Hop on. We’ll find a theater.”

  “What about this?” I asked, patting the handlebar.

  “Stow it behind a bush. It’ll be fine.”

  “That’s not right. I’m not ditching someone else’s property.”

  “Love, do you really want to ride all the way back to the house first?”

  “It’s your mom’s bike.”

  He held his hands up in surrender. “Okay, okay… I’ll go get the car so I can pick you up.”

  I nodded. “That’s fair.”

  People and things were treated like I wanted to be treated, which tended to be better than how most people I met acted in return. Had a cousin I wouldn’t let touch my Barbies after I saw what she did to hers. The memory still makes me shudder, seeing all those poor dolls with missing heads or their hair in tangles. Mom thought I had a problem with sharing, but that wasn’t it—I had a problem with chaos, which any bit of childish destruction was to me. I was the only kid I knew that didn’t need to be told to clean her room, because it was never messy.

  He was a clutter slob—never filthy, but stuff was just tossed anywhere. Hence the suggestion for the bicycle.

  I pedaled faster this time, but he was still there and back to me in around ten minutes. Boy had a lead foot. We put the bike in the trunk, dropped it off at the house, and parked the Jag.

  “Do we have to take the bike?” I asked.

  “What’s wrong with it?”

  “The car has air-conditioning and leather seats that don’t hurt my butt.”

  “Easier to find a parkin’ space with the bike.”

  I pouted. “So?”

  “Fine,” he sighed. He rolled the motorcycle into the garage. “But if we have to pay for a spot, it’s out of your pocket.”

  “Yeah, yeah.”

  I knew he secretly didn’t mind much. He only rode the bike here for the cheap mileage and ability to get through traffic.

  “Whatever happened to your car when you moved, anyway?”

  “Sold it. Mum only let me live at the house until I had stable work that summer.”

  “Lucky for you it was only two years old.”

  He pulled out of the driveway. “Yeah. What do you drive?”

  “Dad’s car, when he’s away.”

  “You’re going to university without a car?”

  “Yup. Living in the dorms was cheaper than buying one. We aren’t made of money like some people.”

  “Mum has the dosh, not me. Don’t even get my trust fund ‘til I graduate.”

  “You have a trust fund?” I shifted on the seat to face him. “What else don’t I know?

  He threw me a look. “It’s not a big deal, alright? Just somethin’ my grandparents set up.”

  “Wow. What were they like?”

  “Very traditional, and very kind. They’ve been gone a while.”

  I laid my hand on his knee. “I’m sorry.”

  “It was ten years ago, love. Didn’t know them very well. As people.”

  Understandable. I only knew certain things about my grandparents from stories. “What about your dad’s side?”

  His smile faded. “Never met anybody.”

  “Oh.” How sad. They’d missed out, wherever they were. “So, when’s your next gig?”

  “Saturday. And another on Sunday.”

  “Same place?”

  “Nope.”

  “Oh. Break a leg.”

  He grinned, keeping his eyes on the roa
d. “Thanks.”

  I faced forward again and watched the scenery go by. It was so weird to be on the left side of the car and not driving. We soon got into the metro part of London, heading in the same direction as his apartment.

  “Do you always drive toward home?” I teased.

  “I know the neighborhood.”

  “I’m sure there’s a theater closer to your mother’s place.”

  He smiled. “Probably is.”

  I shook my head. “And you called me a creature of habit.”

  “Bethie, someone could set a clock by you in high school.”

  “Hello, it’s a regimented schedule everybody was on.”

  “But you stuck to it with supreme efficiency.” He parked the car. “Bet you couldn’t go one day without checking the time.”

  “Just point me to my movie.”

  We bickered over who would pay for the tickets, then the snacks, then what row to sit in. I liked the middle of the theater. He wanted the front or the very back.

  “You can sit there. I’m not gonna.”

  “Maybe I will,” Jacob said, and sauntered down to the second row.

  That lasted until the end of the previews, when he got lonely. I grinned in triumph and gave him my “told you so” look. He stuck his tongue out at me and stole the popcorn.

  “Hey, give that back! You said you didn’t want any.”

  He popped a kernel in his mouth. “Changed my mind.”

  I grabbed the box. “Then get your own!”

  “But the movie’s starting.” He stole a handful this time.

  I moved it to the empty seat next to me. “Not my problem.”

  “Brat.”

  “Mooch.”

  “SHHHH!” someone said behind us.

  I turned around and mouthed “sorry.” Jacob sat there smiling about getting me in trouble. I smacked his knee and whispered “behave” at him. The second after I spoke the word, I remembered it usually acted like the red flag waved in front of the proverbial bull. From anyone except his mother, he took the order as a dare. I hoped he’d be more interested in the movie this time.

  He let me enjoy the film, the only small reminder things were different presenting in his arm being stretched across the back of my chair. It was a fun cartoon. I started to relax, and laugh, and felt on familiar territory for the first time since flying over.