My Once and Future Love Read online

  “Thank you.” She had her head over the basin.

  “Empty?”

  “Maybe.” She straightened and flushed the toilet, then plopped down with her back against the tub. “Ugh.”

  He smiled. “Been there.”

  She frowned. “You’re under twenty-one.”

  “Drinkin’ age here is less, pet.”

  “Oh. All I ordered was a soda…” She leaned over the bowl and wretched again.

  He held her hair back again. “I know. You can’t trust the bartender there.”

  Once she stopped, he got up for a bottle of water. He brought it back with aspirin, set the pills on the sink and handed her the water.

  “Here. Rinse your mouth.”

  She did so, spit, and flushed the toilet again. “Yeah, that was sexy.”

  “Done?”

  “Think so.” She dropped her head back on the rim of the tub and closed her eyes. He touched the cloth to her flushed cheeks. She sighed. “Don’t have to take care of me.”

  “Rubbish.”

  She opened one eye. “Mean it. Not a kid anymore.”

  “Got the message on that, yeah.” He still felt her kiss.

  “You can go away now.”

  “It’s my bathroom, love.”

  She groaned. “Don’t call me that. Please.”

  He tilted her chin up. “What?”

  “Don’t.” She jerked her head away.

  “What do you mean by that?”

  “By what?”

  “Not calling you ‘love’. Never seemed to mind before. I don’t understand.”

  “You wouldn’t.”

  “Bethie…”

  “You don’t mean it.” She dropped her face on her folded knees. “Forget it.”

  “Can’t. It’s going to bug me now.”

  She lifted her head. “Life is full of disappointments. Deal.”

  “Hey, don’t take your hangover out on me.”

  “Forget it.” She wobbled to her feet. “I just wanna lie down.” She started for the futon.

  “Take my bed. It’s more comfortable.”

  She shook her head, one hand on the wall. “Not throwing you out of your own bed.”

  He walked around her to face her. “I’m offerin’. You just have to take it.”

  “Jacob…”

  Tired of bickering, he picked her up and carried her to his room. She didn’t protest as he set her on the mattress and started removing her shoes. He pulled the covers over her, turned off the light, and began to leave.

  “Don’t go,” she whispered. “I just…I feel like crap and I don’t sleep well in strange places.”

  He sighed. “Yeah, alright. Let me shut off the lights.” Once done, he grabbed the water and aspirin and set them on the bedside table.

  She’d already rolled to her side, facing the wall. He took off his boots and belt and lay down next to her on his back.

  What a night…

  Her breathing slowed. He rolled over to check she was asleep and gently removed her glasses, setting them on the table next to her.

  You don’t mean it echoed through his mind. Don’t mean what?

  He couldn’t sleep in his clothes and quietly rolled off the bed. The post-gig shower and pig-out awaited. An exceptional set always amped him up. Normally, he’d party with the boys, but with Beth along, he’d declined.

  And why was that? He said no before he found her sipping on a doctored drink. His mates had no problem meeting a new friend, so that couldn’t have been it. His mother already knew he’d bring her back tomorrow, so that wasn’t it, either.

  Because she’s Bethie, his mind whispered, and you didn’t want any of them to hit on her.

  Well, yeah…but I wouldn’t recommend them to any female friend.

  Tell us another one.

  Hey, brain. You’re s’posed to be on my side.

  I am, idiot, if you’d open your eyes.

  He turned the faucet knob and cut off the shower, toweled dry, then slipped into a pair of sweats and padded to the kitchen for munchies. Carrying a piled-high sandwich and a beer to the futon, he turned on his Playstation, keeping the volume low.

  He’d been playing an hour when she walked out of the bedroom.

  “Hey, pet.”

  “You left.”

  “Wasn’t sleepy. Feeling better?”

  She sat on the sofa, several inches between them. “Some. My head hurts.”

  “Left aspirin--”

  “I know. I took some.”

  “Oh.” He reached the end of the level and paused the game. “Okay.”

  She nodded, twisting a ring on her hand. “Sorry for…”

  “Being a horny drunk?” he teased.

  Her hair fell to hide the side of her face. “For snapping at you. I’m not a friendly patient.”

  “No harm done.”

  She nodded again, still not facing him. “Well, you can have your bed back.”

  “Beth--”

  “I’d go back to your mom’s, but it’s the middle of the night.”

  “Bethie--”

  She looked at him, then. “Please, Jacob.”

  He sighed, nodded, and stood to leave. “I’ll get you a pillow.”

  “Thank you.”

  She sat in the same place when he came back, looking small and lost. He crouched down in front of her and brushed her hair behind her ear.

  “Hey, look at me. Don’t be so hard on yourself, alright? You’re still my Bethie.”

  She glanced away. “Whatever that is.” Wincing, she closed her eyes. “Sorry.”

  Couldn’t say later what possessed him to kiss her, but it seemed like the right thing to do at the time. He gently touched his lips to hers, cupping her cheek in his hand. She gasped in surprise, but tentatively kissed him back. It was slow, sweet, and…innocent.

  He ended the embrace as gently as he started it, kissed her forehead, and said goodnight.

  Chapter Four

  When Jacob kissed me, I almost cried.

  What the hell did he mean by doing that? Make the stupid kid feel better for acting like a fool? I couldn’t sleep after that, and couldn’t move to chase him for an explanation.

  Dammit…

  For one brief moment, I thought he wanted me. Me. Instead, he got my shirt off and changed his mind. Wonderful confidence booster, that was. Never drinking alcohol, deliberately or by accident, again.

  As soon as light shone through the windows, I snuck out and left. It took a while for a cab to come by, but I finally flagged one down and told him Mrs. Lindsey’s address. The day was starting out cloudy and even a little hazy with fog in spots. Summer was weird in this place.

  I had a loaned key for the manor, so I quietly let myself in and went straight to my room. First thing I did was brush the dead cat out of my teeth. Thought about a shower, but I was too exhausted and fell into bed with a sleep-shirt on, instead.

  My dreams were full of kissing and losing him. On repeat.

  ****

  When I came downstairs for breakfast at noon, Mrs. Lindsey hugged me.

  “I’m so glad you’re here, Elizabeth. Jacob called saying you’d left his apartment and he didn’t know where you’d gone or when.”

  “Sorry to worry you. I came back this morning and crashed.”

  She gave me the Mom Look. “Well, you should have left a note, even though you are an adult.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  She smiled and kept her arm around me when we turned for the kitchen. “I have an appointment in a bit, but it shouldn’t take very long. We could go into town if you like.”

  “That’d be nice. My stomach’s a little rumble-y, but I might be up to that by the time you get back.”

  “Excellent.” She kissed my cheek and started walking away. “Oh, and call my son to let him know you’re safe?”

  She left, expecting me to follow her suggestion.

  I was stirring a pot of oatmeal on the stove when I heard Jacob’s bike pul
l up out front. Just what I needed.

  “Mother?”

  Waiting for him to look in here, I hoped he wouldn’t. If I could spend the rest of my vacation with Vivian and run home with the remaining shreds of my dignity, I’d be happy.

  “You.”

  “Oh, good morning, Beth. Did you sleep well?” I replied, still stirring my breakfast to completion. The oats were cooked, just needed seasonings and the sprinkle of fruit on top.

  He grabbed my shoulders and turned me around. “Nice of you to say goodbye.”

  I rolled my eyes, not planning to rise to his bait. “One, where else would I go, and two, it was early and I didn’t want to wake you.”

  “Didn’t plan on waking me, you mean.”

  “Potato, po-tah-to. Can I eat my breakfast, or do you need to impersonate my father some more?”

  He let go of my robe. “You can be such a brat.”

  “Snappy comeback.” I carried my bowl to the small breakfast table and sat down to eat.

  He sat across from me, glaring with his arms crossed over his chest. His hair looked like he rode the bike without his helmet.

  After five minutes of him staring at me, I put down my spoon. “Were you really that worried? Hello, raised by an Army man. I know how to get myself out of trouble, which I wasn’t in.”

  “You weren’t there, didn’t leave a note, and Mum hadn’t seen you. Didn’t know what to think.”

  “I took a cab here and went to bed. Sorry, I was exhausted.”

  “Not an excuse to be irresponsible.”

  “There you go again, talking down to me like I’m a kid. It’s a two year age difference.” I picked up my bowl to take to my room.

  “Adults don’t walk out in the middle of a conversation.”

  Scowling, I turned to him. “They do when it’s stupid.”

  “Oh, excuse me, Miss Straight A’s. Was I boring you?”

  “I didn’t call you stupid. I said this was stupid.”

  He took another step closer, so he looked down his nose at me. “By all means, go back to America where I’m not wasting your time.”

  “Maybe I will,” I said, poking his chest on the last syllable.

  We stared at each other, angry, fired up, and neither willing to be the first to back down.

  Jacob grabbing my shoulders and kissing me wasn’t part of the plan. It wasn’t a nice kiss at all. Our teeth clashed. He scratched my lip. The stubble on his face chafed my skin. I dropped the bowl. It shattered on the tile. He picked me up and set my butt on the table, his lips still on mine. I had one hand on the back of his neck, my nails leaving soft dents in his skin. He set my body on fire, the robe I was wearing suddenly too hot.

  “Don’t go,” he said between kisses.

  “Wasn’t gonna.”

  “Good.” He moved to kissing my throat, nipping my skin with his teeth.

  I squeaked when he bit a particularly sensitive spot. “Why?”

  He pulled back to look at me. “Why what?”

  “What is this? You didn’t want me last night.”

  He ran a hand through his hair and let out an audible breath. “Oh, I wanted you. The way you kiss, Bethie…” He shivered.

  “Oh.”

  That was all—physical lust. I slid my feet to the floor, stepped around him, and started cleaning up the mess of oatmeal and china.

  “What ‘oh’?”

  “I hope the bowl wasn’t expensive. I’m so clumsy sometimes.”

  Keep him off-guard and he’ll stop arguing.

  He crouched down in my way. “Beth, stop avoiding the question.”

  “I get it, that’s all.” I shrugged and picked up more bits of china.

  “Maybe you can enlighten me, then, ‘cause I’m lost.”

  “You like what I can do, so you’re attracted to me.”

  “Well, yeah…but--”

  “Jacob, it’s okay. Can you find some paper towels or something?”

  “Uh, yeah…”

  He rose and went to the broom closet and found the towels and a dustpan. I dumped what was in my hand in the dustpan and stood to wet a paper towel at the sink. At least the bowl was almost empty when I dropped it, so there hadn’t been much splatter. Once the floor was spotless again, I washed my hands.

  Turning to where he’d been, I came face-to-face. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me close.

  “Now, where were we?” He closed in on my lips again. Like a dog with a bone!

  I moved my head back. “Someone might see us.”

  He grinned and said, “So we find a more private room. House is huge, in case you didn’t notice.”

  I broke his hold on me. “I’m not like those groupies.” The girls he was used to might like private corners or dark hallways, but that wasn’t me.

  His eyebrows rose. “What groupies?”

  “The girls ready to have your babies at the concert. Don’t tell me you’re oblivious to the attention!”

  “We have fans, but what does that have to do with--”

  “Ugh. Men.”

  I stormed out of the kitchen. With any luck, I’d reach the stairs before he recovered.

  “Will you stop running away from me, woman?” He grabbed my hand and pulled me to a stop. “What the hell is your problem?”

  “You and your Y chromosome are my problem! Let me go.”

  “No. You’ll just run off.”

  “My prerogative. Asshole.”

  He brushed my hair off my face with his left hand. The touch of his fingers on my scalp gave me tingles.

  “Afraid to be alone with me?”

  Yes. I stuck my chin out, fronting. “Why should I be?”

  His thumb caressed my cheekbone, his fingers resting on my neck. “You tell me.” His eyes flicked from mine, to my lips, and back again.

  “You have a reputation.”

  “Do I?” he said, amused at the notion.

  “Well, your mother has suspicions.”

  He chuckled at that. “My mother has an over-active imagination about what I don’t share.”

  “Can you blame her? Your career goal is Rock Star.”

  He frowned. “What’s wrong with that?”

  “Potentially nothing. And potentially everything. Say you get famous—what will you do with all the attention? Where will we fit? Who will you know to trust when everyone wants a piece of you? How will you find privacy?”

  “Been reading tabloids?”

  I sighed, not wanting another argument. “No. There are people who want you to succeed and worry about it at the same time. I know you’re having fun right now…”

  We stood apart.

  “You think this is a ‘bit of fun’?”

  “Well, yeah. Isn’t it?”

  “Beth, you’re not a fling.”

  “Yeah, not yet. And I never would’ve kissed you last night if I was sober. I can’t just fool around with you and go home. I won’t.”

  “So, what, we pretend it didn’t happen?” He stepped to me and cupped my cheeks in his hands. “I can’t do that.”

  “Why not?”

  He opened his mouth to reply, and paused, searching for the right answer.

  I pulled away. “Yeah…exactly. You come up with a good answer, then we can talk.”

  Before he could see me cry, I fled to my room.

  The bike started up outside after a few minutes. I went to the window and watched him ride away.

  You just had to come to England. Had to see Jacob. How’s that goin’ for ya?

  Bite me.

  Pretty hard to accomplish that, considering I’m your mind.

  Figure of speech. Go away.

  You’re really going to throw away that much gorgeous just because he’s not in love with you?

  I have standards.

  Oh, come on! Do you really want your first time to be with some college nerd instead of your hot best friend? Take advantage of an opportunity here!

  Since when is my subconscious such a
slut?

  Since she got a taste of what you’ve been dreaming about for four years. Ain’t my fault you couldn’t crush on more than one guy at a time.

  Oh, shut up.

  Debating with my Id wasn’t going to do any good. Since I didn’t know when Mrs. Lindsey would be back, I set my alarm for a half-hour nap.

  She knocked on my door while I was dressing after my shower.

  “Come in.”

  My door opened. “Nice legs.” Male voice.

  I froze, sunscreen half rubbed into my skin. “Thought you were your mother.”

  He shut my door. “Sorry to disappoint.”

  “She’ll be back any minute.” I closed the cap on the bottle, my legs now sufficiently protected. My skin got sunburns from beach scenes on TV.

  He came closer. “Got plans?”

  “Yes.”

  “To do what?”

  “I don’t know. Stuff. Why are you here?” I backed into the dresser. Dammit. Felt like the antelope about to be caught by the lion.

  “Because you’re my favorite girl next to Mum, of course.” He placed both hands on the dresser behind me, pinning me in.

  “That’s, um, nice, but--”

  His lips cut off my sentence. Another different kiss, this one coaxing me to play his game of seduction, slowly making my blood boil. One of us moaned.

  “Need you, Bethie.”

  Again with the lust. “I’m not--”

  “Need you in my life. I’ve never wanted to share.”

  I ducked under his arm, needing air. “You don’t like sharing anything. Whine and moan if I steal one fry.”

  He stalked me again. “That’s not what I meant. Remember how you complained about me not bringing you along with my friends? I wasn’t excluding you. I wanted our time all to myself. You’re the only girl I ever trusted in my room.”

  My eyes widened at that news. “You never brought your dates back to the house?”

  “Sure, to the den or the kitchen. Not in my room.”

  “Do…do you share your room now?”

  He grinned. “Nope.”

  Whoa. “You haven’t…in…”

  He shook his head. “Not at my place.”

  “But…you’ve…?” Had sex.

  “Yeah. If it matters.”

  “Ah.” Well, I’d expected that already, so…well. “I didn’t like being excluded. Back then.”

  “I know. I remember.”