My Once and Future Love Page 15

  I shook the angst from my head. “Well, enough about my drama…my mother told me to ‘go be a teenager’.”

  A mischievous glint came into his eye. “She did, did she? Carte blanche to be young and daring and irresponsible?”

  “I wouldn’t say that…”

  He darted around the table and caught me. “How do you feel about shaggin’ outdoors?”

  “I…uh…we could get caught.”

  “That’s part of the fun, love. It’s like a dare.”

  His scent enveloped me. How could he be sweaty and dirty and still not smell bad? There was probably some scientific explanation of my primal senses recognizing his awesomeness. Some other girl would just as easily think he was gross. Right?

  “Plenty of places just a drive away, baby.”

  Gulp. “Y-you should be helping your mother…shouldn’t you?” Backbone? It was around here somewhere…

  He grinned at me, massaging small circles on my low back. “Nothin’ that has to be done today. Most of it’s in the mail already.”

  “Oh.”

  “Come on, Bethie, let’s go have fun. See where chance takes us.” He turned on the hopeful gaze, adding a little lip bite to make me focus on his gorgeous mouth.

  I could use fun, though, after the past week and a half…anyone would say so. If the doctor said they got all the cancer, then it’d all be behind us. I wanted the hope back, the future full of possibilities.

  “Wholesome fun, mister. I just want to feel normal again.”

  “You have it. Should I shower first?” He rubbed his prickly cheek on mine.

  “Ugh, yes.” Made me laugh, though. “Go! And hurry up.”

  He kissed me, teasing with his tongue, and walked off to his bathroom. I had a seat in his bedroom to wait.

  Jacob left a lot here when he moved to London. His personal effects had gone, and the guitars and video games, but everything else was here from the high school years. The soccer trophy for Most Improved in a Single Season. The lamp from a garage sale with a base that looked like Jimi Hendrix. His jazz band plaques and ribbons. The trophy from winning the talent show senior year. Books, posters…everything I’d memorized in two years of hanging out in this very spot, sitting in the middle of his bed.

  I wondered how he really felt about the house going to someone else. I was a bit misty about it…didn’t like change.

  He walked into the room wearing just a towel. I got up to leave.

  “Shy now, Bethie?”

  “Your mother is down the hall, so if you’re dropping that towel, I’m leaving.”

  He pouted. “Aww, no fun.”

  I swatted his shoulder and left, closing the door behind me. Devil sent to torment me, he was.

  I felt bad about leaving Vivian without a car, but he swore she wasn’t planning to go anywhere the rest of the day. Really hoped so, for his sake.

  He chose Santa Monica Pier.

  Mom had taken me here once to see an artist she knew, but otherwise, I wasn’t familiar with the pier or the amusements around it. Being summer, a lot of people were here, but I imagined even more would show up on the weekend. He pulled me into Pacific Park.

  I dragged my feet when he headed straight for the coaster.

  “What’s the problem?” he asked.

  “I like staying on the ground.”

  “Beth, it’s a little roller coaster. It’s fun. Come on.”

  “But…”

  “Love, I’d never let anything happen to you. Do you trust me?”

  Someday, I’d have to learn how to show that much conviction in my eyes. “Yes.”

  He smiled. “Then let’s ride.”

  That’s what I got for dating an adrenaline junkie. We rode, spun, swung, and dropped from great height as he dragged me from ride to ride. I didn’t want to look, but closing my eyes made me feel worse with no sense of my bearings. Watching him grin through every thrill started to make my fear worth it, though.

  When we got over to the carnival games, I felt more at ease. “Ooo, skee ball!” Now that, I could play. I cashed a few dollars for quarters and tried to rack up enough points for a stuffed tiger.

  “How old are you?” he teased.

  “Shut up. I need to concentrate.” I rolled my eight balls into the pockets and the game flashed “winner!” “I won! And you doubted me.” The attendant handed me my plush toy.

  “I didn’t doubt you could win, love. I just questioned your game choice.”

  “Could’ve gone to the Wac-A-Mole first.” Which I still might visit.

  He held his hands up. “Fair enough. You win.”

  “And what would you play, Mr. Macho?”

  “Bet you I can win you a bear over there.” He pointed to a game with water guns and big stuffed bears as prizes.

  “You’re on.”

  He had to aim for a spinning hole with the water gun, competing against the other players. First one to the top won a prize. The first time, a dad playing for his little girl won. Second round, a teen with his girlfriend wrapped around him just beat Jacob to the top.

  He handed the attendant cash to go again.

  “Not so easy hitting a moving target, huh?” I said.

  “I’ve got it this time.”

  “Uh-huh…”

  He never backed down from a challenge or refused a dare. Best way to motivate him was to say you can’t. I got the big cute bear wearing a blue t-shirt, and kissed my hero.

  “Mmm. Hungry?” he asked.

  “Sure.”

  We got hot pretzels from a stand, his with extra salt.

  This was perfect. The sea air, nice breeze, the scents of hot dogs and fresh fries, the sounds of laughing children and electronic games, a doting boyfriend…I couldn’t wish for a better way to feel eighteen and carefree. We wandered out of the amusement park for now, people-watching and listening to strolling musicians.

  The Pier was so alive.

  “You could clean house down here.”

  “Beg pardon?” He stopped and put his attention on me.

  “Sing, with your guitar. You’d make mad tips here.”

  He glanced around. “Not exactly what I do, pet. I’ve never played for people alone except at recitals.”

  “So? It’s not like you can’t. If you sang your songs, I know people would listen.”

  He draped his arm across my shoulders and started walking again. “I’ll think about it.”

  I was serious about the suggestion. Walking around, I saw lots of women admiring him since we stepped out of the car, and once they heard him play and sing he’d have them wrapped around his pinky. Plus, who knew who might be strolling by on that day? Might be his big break.

  We ended up at the Harbor Grill for burgers.

  The time was after six. “Do you mind if we find a payphone so I can call home? Mom is supposed to talk to her doctor tonight.”

  “No, though there might not be one.”

  “I can ask.”

  But with no luck. Even the teenage employees had cell phones, so no one could tell me what I wanted.

  “Oh, well.”

  “Do you want to go home?” It was written on his face that he hoped not.

  “No…we came here for a reason, and I’m going to relax.” Or at least try.

  His smile told me I made the right choice.

  The free concert started at seven, so once we were done eating, we found a spot on the beach to watch. The first group was a southern rock band and pretty good. The second band had a decent group of musicians, but an annoying lead singer. We took a walk.

  “How about the Ferris wheel?” Jacob suggested.

  “It goes really high.”

  “Yeah, but think about the view, love.”

  “Okay…”

  The wheel on the Pier was a Southern California icon, especially with the lights on at night. It was a big wheel; putting passengers over a hundred feet off the deck at the top of revolution. Even with the concert in progress, we had to wait in line
. I wished I’d brought a camera.

  Wait… Did I still have a disposable in here for emergencies? Yes! I never thought about it immediately because it was so light, I didn’t feel it in my bag.

  I snapped a shot of Jacob standing under the rainbow lights.

  “Hey.”

  “What? You like having your picture taken.”

  “Yeah, but I didn’t know you had a camera.”

  “I remembered it.” I cranked the dial to make the next frame available. “Dad likes us to keep one in case we’re in an accident, but I’ll just buy another one later.”

  “Your scrapbook getting lonely?”

  “Ha, ha.” Smart ass. “As you so rightly mentioned, there’s a view to behold.”

  Our turn came to get in the bucket. He got in first. I slid to his side. He draped his left arm on the back of the seat, his hand brushing my shoulder. The wheel started moving. The ride was being reloaded behind us, so we went up a notch, stopped, went one more, and stopped--until we were at the top. It was a beautiful view, as long as I didn’t look down.

  I took two shots, then he rocked the bucket, scaring me into clinging to him to not fall. “Don’t DO that!”

  “Got you closer to me.”

  “Ass.”

  His hand slid under my hair to cup the base of my skull. “You’re beautiful at sunset, know that?”

  “I’m alright.” I knew I wasn’t ugly or anything, but I wasn’t special, either. Just plain and kinda nerdy.

  He shook his head, looking at me like he knew something I didn’t, and coaxed me forward for a kiss. He tasted a little salty from dinner and a little minty from a breath mint he must have chewed during the concert. It was a slow, sweet kiss, breathing each other’s skin and teasing with our tongues.

  The wheel jolted to life again, startling me.

  He seemed to want to say something, but didn’t, changing his mind. The wheel did two complete revolutions, then started letting riders off again. The spell of being on top of the world was broken.

  We got ice cream cones and started for the car, slowly strolling through the waning crowd.

  “Have a good time, love?”

  “Uh-huh. Thank you.”

  He squeezed my hand. “Know how to take care of my girl.”

  “Guess you do.”

  We must have been sickening to watch; two young people smiling at each other with sappy Cupid-inspired grins. At the moment, I didn’t care.

  Instead of heading home, he drove further down the coast. With the moon just starting its ascent, the ocean was pitch black.

  “Taking the scenic route?” I asked.

  “Something like that.”

  “No offense, but I’d like to hear the verdict about my mom. I need to know if she’s okay.”

  “Yeah, okay.” He turned toward the freeway at the next opportunity.

  The girlfriend in me didn’t want to cut the romance short and felt bad, but the daughter inside had more pressing needs. I wondered if it’d always be like this, choosing between family and love.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Jacob knew it was selfish to be disappointed Beth wanted to go home. He hoped they could stay out late, maybe make love before heading back to reality. They’d have privacy at his house again once his mother left tomorrow, but there was somethin’ about ending a date on a good shag. Ah, well.

  She watched the cars they passed, her long fingers idly tapping on her leg to the music on the radio. He thought she was lovely in profile, with a straight nose, her bottom lip a tad fuller than the top, and a graceful chin. Delicate and lady-like, just like the rest of her, though she swore she wasn’t girly. She didn’t think she had the legs for skirts, yet wore shorts every day in summer. He liked her contradictions.

  “Take you out tomorrow night?”

  That got her attention. “Like a date?”

  “Yes, exactly a date. It’s what dating people do, so I’m told.”

  She chewed her lip. Never a positive sign. “I…where?”

  “Don’t know, yet. Does it matter?”

  “I don’t know.”

  Come on, baby, live a little. “Then I’ll pick you up at seven.”

  “My--”

  “Tell them you have plans, Beth. You don’t need to elaborate.”

  “It’s common courtesy to say where you’re going and with whom.”

  “It’s a leash, and you’re movin’ to college soon.” He took a breath, and tried a different approach. “Look, they’ve never had a reason to worry about us hanging out, right? Four years, safe as houses.”

  “Mom worries if I’m out late,” she said, pouting.

  “Sweetheart, you’re a very good daughter, okay? Probably the only teenager in L.A. who never needed to be grounded. Your mum even told you to have fun today. She’s not going to be upset if you have a life.”

  “Stop Psych 101-ing me.”

  “I’m not. I’m sayin’ I get that you’re conflicted.”

  She turned her face to the window. “They’ll need me if it’s bad.”

  “But there’s nothing you can do tomorrow, love.” She didn’t reply to that, and he let the subject drop.

  When he stopped the car at her house, she put on a smile for her parents, stuffed toys in her hands. He walked her to the door, and inside. Her parents were in the living room watching television.

  “Did you have a good time, honey? Oh, hello, Jacob.”

  “Mrs. Lawson.”

  “Well?” Beth asked. She set her loot on the dining table.

  Her mother rose off the sofa and guided Beth down the hall. He watched his girl listen, nodding along, then her shoulders dropped and she smiled, and hugged her mother. The look of relief on her face was the sweetest thing he’d seen all day.

  “Thanks, Mom. I’m going to walk Jacob out.”

  Mrs. Lawson smiled and went back to her seat. Mr. Lawson draped his arm on the back of the couch behind her. Beth opened the front door, so he followed her outside.

  “Good news, I take it?” he asked.

  “The lymph node was clean. They cut all the cancer out.”

  He hugged her. “I’m so happy for you, love.”

  “Thanks. I’ll walk you home.” She took his hand.

  They got around the corner and she kissed him, pressing his back to the wall around her yard. “I feel so much lighter,” she said. “We should let your mom know, if she’s still up.”

  He trailed after her, needing to adjust his jeans along the way. “If she’s not awake, we can celebrate.” He grabbed her hips from behind and bit the spot on her neck that always made her squeal.

  “I can’t stay.”

  “Come back when they’re asleep, then.”

  She turned around and walked backwards in front of him. “I’ll see you tomorrow, anyway.”

  “But tomorrow leaves my bed lonely.”

  She rolled her eyes, but grinning at the same time. “You’ll survive.”

  “Meany.”

  “Very mature.” She sighed. “There’s more to life than sex, you know.”

  “Now who’s the one with a dirty mind? I didn’t say sex.”

  “You--” She was so cute when she started to get flustered.

  “Said my bed would be lonely.” And a cuddle was better than no Beth at all.

  “One, I need sleep, and two, tomorrow. Now unlock your front door.”

  Always a woman bossing him around…get this, do that…

  The lock took special finagling to get the key to turn without snapping it off. The deadbolt finally released; he twisted the knob and opened the door for her. The front light was still on.

  “Mother?”

  “In here, Jacob.” Her voice came from down the hall. “Just doing some last-minute packing before bed. Oh, hello, Elizabeth.”

  “Hi. While you were still here, I wanted to tell you my mother’s surgery had good news. The cancer was confined to the lump.”

  “Oh, splendid, dear! Tell your mother I’ll
ring soon. Goodnight, kids. I have an early flight.” Mum went back to her room and shut the door.

  “Well, that’s g’night for me, too,” Beth said.

  “Love, it’s only ten.”

  “I told my parents I was walking you home. That means turning back around once I get here.”

  Call him a greedy wanker, but he enjoyed being out alone and having fun with her and didn’t want it to end on a “thanks, goodnight”. “Fine.” He opened the door. “Go on.”

  She held her chin higher and stomped out.

  He swung his arm to slam the door, then caught it at the last second, remembering his mother was trying to sleep. He checked the locks, grabbed bottled water from the refrigerator, and turned off the lights. Never felt like this before, wanting everything a woman was. Shutting his bedroom door, he flopped on his bed and reached for the acoustic on the floor. Picking at the guitar helped him focus.

  Timing, man…fecking timing. Ideally, he and Beth would be at the same school, their greatest worry being grades and messy roommates. Could’ve been, if he’d chosen one of the California schools that offered. He won the Spotlight Award in his instrumental division, a $5000 scholarship, and getting into a Southern California music program was easy. But…he wanted to see home again. Wasn’t so cozy now with a band breaking up and a landlord banging on his door for late rent.

  If he stayed in London, he and Beth wouldn’t make it to graduation, he just knew it. If he chose her and applied for a local uni, he had to start within the next couple months to be able to transfer. Maybe things would change once she got settled at UCLA, but he had a feeling being in the same country wouldn’t fix everything, either. Yet it was horrid only talking on the phone for a week. He didn’t know what to do.

  ****

  And they said women were moody. Hello, look at Jacob!

  What was so wrong about me sticking to my word, huh? Life isn’t just about what we want—we have responsibilities and obligations. If I said I was going to arrive at a certain time, well, I was five minutes early.

  Dad was conked out, but Mom was still awake, watching the news. “Hey, pumpkin.”

  “Hey.” I locked the door for the night. “You haven’t called me that in a long time.”

  “I haven’t? Huh. So…did you have fun today?”