My Once and Future Love Read online

“Your mum said you didn’t take the car. Only a few places you’d go on foot. I know my girl.” He hailed a waitress, waving his hand in her field of view.

  “Left your mom with all the packing?”

  “Nah. I’ve done most of the heavy lifting. Loaded her car with boxes to ship before I left.”

  I sipped my milkshake. “So, why’d you come?”

  With nothing else in front of his fingers, he played with a napkin, twisting and shredding it. “Wondered if you thought about my offer.”

  “Jacob, I can’t say…that’s too big to put on me. Have you discussed it with your mother?”

  “Not yet.”

  “How long is ‘could stay’, really? Until the house sells? ‘Til school starts in London? I know you like being spontaneous, but…”

  “Okay. I get it.” He crossed his arms over his chest and looked away, watching the staff grab plates from the kitchen.

  “Hey…” I reached across the table. “I miss you a lot when you’re in London, don’t get me wrong, but I’m not going to ask you to be here. You have a degree half done and an audience that likes you over there, and I don’t need my hand held so bad for you to abandon that. I’d hate myself for being that selfish.”

  “So you want me to leave.”

  Ugh, he could be so stubbornly dense sometimes! “I want you to do what’s best for you. For your career.”

  A waitress set a glass on the table, Coke with light ice and a cherry floating on top. “Imagine my surprise to see Jake Lindsey back in town. On vacation?” She leaned her hip on the table, her back to me.

  “Hey…” Jacob said.

  “Tammy,” she filled in. “We went out junior year. Well, summer after. Doing much while you’re in L.A.?”

  Hello, was I friggin’ invisible? “Excuse me. We were having a conversation.”

  “Just bein’ friendly, honey,” she said over her shoulder. “Didn’t know you had a kid sis,” she said to Jacob.

  Sister? Oh, not again… I stood and got in the bitch’s face. “He doesn’t fuck his sister.”

  She looked me up and down. “You? Honey, men don’t go for girls built like pipe cleaners. Run along back to high school.”

  I lurched forward to rip her stupid bottle-blonde hair out. He caught me round the waist and pulled me onto his lap.

  “Easy, love. She’s not worth an assault charge.”

  I glared at her, daggers in my eyes. She shrunk back.

  “Be somewhere else.”

  The waitress huffed and pranced away. My shoulders sagged, the fight leaving me as fast as it rose up.

  He turned my face to him. “That was bloody hot.”

  My face flamed. “That was embarrassing. I don’t know what got into me.”

  “Defending your territory, love. Chit was out of line.” He stroked my tummy under the hem of my shirt, creating goosebumps. “Such a mouth on you…”

  “I can’t believe I said that in public. Do you think they’ll kick us out?”

  He glanced past me, then back at my face. “Only if we do what I have in mind,” he purred.

  My cheeks turned a deeper red. “You’re so naughty.”

  “Yep,” he said with glee. “Wanna get out of here?”

  I eased out of his arms. “Think I should finish my milkshake.”

  “Okay.” He grinned as I sat down, spreading his arms over the back of the booth. “I can wait.”

  I finished my glass and moved on to the extra in the metal cup.

  “She’s wrong, you know.”

  “Huh?”

  “’Bout you havin’ the figure of a pipe cleaner. Not true.”

  Oh. “Thanks.”

  “’Sides, her tits are fake, anyway.”

  “Jacob.”

  He shrugged. “It’s true.”

  I frowned. “And you know this how?”

  “Locker room talk.”

  “You didn’t…”

  He made a face. “We made out after a few pilfered beers at a beach party. Kisses like a fish.” He chuckled. “I wasn’t very discriminating at sixteen.”

  “No kidding.”

  “Hey.”

  “Saw and heard about them all, bucko. You were hormones looking for a place to happen—except with me.”

  “You were special. Couldn’t bollocks up my one true friendship. Had to play to their expectations, you know? But I could—can—relax with you.” He grasped my free hand. “It’s more than want with you.”

  Swoon. Holy romance, Batman. “Charmer…”

  “I mean it. You think I’d fly eleven hours for anybody?”

  I shook my head. For the most part, he didn’t make attachments, and his mother was the only person he’d bend over backwards for. Or, had been. I ate my last spoonful and left money on the table.

  He took my hand on the way out.

  Mom had Vivian and Jacob over for dinner. He sat across from me and kept rubbing my foot with his. Dad ate quietly like usual when company was over, and our mothers gabbed. I’d forgotten they were good friends, too.

  When the moms retreated to the kitchen to wash dishes and gossip and Dad was in his office again, Jacob and I took dessert out to the backyard. We picked a spot out-of-sight of any windows.

  “How are you doing?”

  I exhaled. “Anxious.” And sat down. “The what-ifs have been playing through my mind all day.”

  He sat next to me on the planter. “Well, I’m good at distraction.”

  A smiled teased at my lips. That was very true. I only had to ask. “I’ll stick to Fudge Brownie ice cream in the backyard.”

  He smiled, bumping shoulders. “As you wish.”

  I leaned my head on that shoulder. “I’m glad you’ll still be here tomorrow.”

  “Until the term starts. Maybe do some auditions.”

  “Oh?”

  “Don’t sound so surprised,” he teased.

  Had I managed surprise? Because I wasn’t, really. When he got an idea in his head, he stuck to it to the bitter end. “What does your mom think of that?” I asked, straightening up to see his face.

  “Haven’t told her, yet.”

  “Ah.”

  He looked skyward. “I know…I know.”

  “See, you’re not completely independent, either, Mr. Judgey.”

  “Touché.” He poked my ribs, making me jump. “Smart-ass.”

  Tickling wasn’t fair. “Eat your ice cream. It’s melting.”

  “Yes, dear,” he said, and made a big show of taking a bite. “Welcome to stay over tonight, you know.”

  I smiled at the offer, but had to refuse. “I shouldn’t. I might sleep too late. Mom has to check in at seven.”

  “I have an alarm clock, love.” He tucked my hair behind my ear. “But whatever’s easiest for you.”

  It was really tempting. I didn’t want to be alone, knowing I’d lie awake worrying about what they’ll find tomorrow. At least with him next to me, I wouldn’t be staring at the ceiling by myself.

  “I should stay in my bedroom.”

  He nodded. “Okay. If you think that’s best.”

  I tilted my head to catch his eye. “I didn’t say alone.”

  He smiled. “Oh.” He leaned in to kiss me, but I put my hand on his chest.

  “Just sleep. The other stuff is…noisy.”

  He nuzzled the side of my neck, his lips brushing my ear. “It’s not me who has a problem bein’ quiet, kitten.” The gentle touch made my pulse quicken.

  The sliding door opened. We sprung apart.

  “Jacob, I’m going home, now,” his mother said. “Sarah needs her sleep.”

  “Yes, mum. I’ll be along soon as I finish my bowl.”

  One brow arched, noting how long we’d been out here, but she said, “Alright, darling. I’ll leave the front light on.” She went back inside.

  “We should head in.”

  At least it was Vivian who came out. If Dad caught us sitting too close together...

  The bowls were left in
the kitchen sink, then I escorted him out the front door. “Wait a while, to make sure they’re asleep. I’ll leave my window open.”

  He kissed me, short and soft. “Until later, love.”

  I watched him walk around the corner.

  When dressing for bed, I picked my most conservative summer pajamas. My bed was a twin, which didn’t leave a lot of room for two of us, so I spread an extra blanket and pillow on the floor next to it. Like a slumber party, if you had those with gorgeous twenty-year-old men that happened to be your boyfriend and see you naked. I jotted down the questions I wanted to ask at the hospital in a notebook, then got in bed and waited.

  Around midnight, he came over the wall. He climbed in my window and silently lowered it closed. “Hey,” he whispered. He wore an old tee with a few holes in it and a pair of sweatpants.

  “Hi.”

  He glanced down at the floor. “Like old times, eh?”

  “It’s a small bed,” I said, and drew back the sheet, scooting over to make room. “You might prefer the floor.”

  He crawled onto my mattress for a welcome kiss. “Over holding you? Never.”

  We tried for a working position, ending up with him on his back and me on my side with my limbs draped over him. Spooning would’ve worked, too, but I didn’t want to turn my back to him, yet. We couldn’t talk that way.

  “Pillow smells like you,” he said.

  “It does?”

  He nodded. “Like your shampoo. Back in high school, I’d catch a whiff of somethin’ that smelled so good…finally figured out it was your hair.”

  “Back then? Really?”

  He ran his fingers through my hair, stroking my scalp. “That fruity tropical stuff. It was so distracting when you’d lean over my shoulder to check my work.”

  “My leave-in conditioner. I thought you had ADD ‘cause I always had to repeat myself.”

  “Unh-uh. It was this.” He kept petting my head, making me tingly.

  This wasn’t helping my resolve to just sleep. Mom brushed my hair all the time when I was a little girl and that was relaxing, so I had no clue his fingers doing the same thing would be arousing. Then again, a picture of him was arousing for me. I tried to think sleepy thoughts.

  “Still awake?”

  “Mmm-hmm.” I snuggled closer. His pec was a really nice pillow.

  “Want me to come with you tomorrow?”

  “Think they’ll only allow family.”

  “Oh. How long should it take?”

  “Not terribly? It’s simple in words. They open up the area, visualize the tumor, and remove it. Make sure there’s no bleeding, sew her up, done. Maybe an hour or two, I don’t know. They’ll tell us what to expect. I just hope she doesn’t have to stay overnight.”

  “Why would she?”

  “Bad reaction to the anesthetic or a drug. Anything can happen.” There were way too many variables with the human body for my comfort.

  “Beth, I’m sure it’ll be fine. Does your mother have allergies?”

  “No…”

  He held me tighter. “Then the odds are with her. Try to go to sleep, love.”

  “Okay.”

  With my glasses off, I couldn’t really stare at anything, anyway, so I closed my eyes and listened to his heartbeat below my ear. The steady thump lulled me into drifting off.

  When my alarm went off at five-thirty, he wasn’t there.

  Chapter Fifteen

  My guess of an hour or two for the surgery? On par. What I didn’t know was they were injecting Mom with a dye to see the sentinel lymph node first, whatever that was. She had to wait around three hours for her body to spread the dye to where the surgeon needed it. Good thing I suggested she bring a book.

  “Elizabeth, could you stop pacing, please?”

  “Sorry, Mom.” I sat in the uncomfortable hospital chair and watched the clock, my knee bouncing with impatience. I’d tried reading already, but after going over the same sentence three times, I gave up and had to move. “Maybe I’ll find Daddy.”

  He couldn’t wait and do nothing, either. I found him in the cafeteria, buying coffee.

  “How long have we got?” he asked.

  “Maybe another half hour. If the surgeon’s on time.”

  “Want to take a walk?”

  “Okay.” The hospital smelled like no other place I’d been, and I didn’t like it.

  I steered us to the courtyard outside. They had some grass and pathways running between the offices and the hospital. There was a breeze today, and the weather had cooled down to seventy degrees at this hour of the morning.

  “Mom is pretty Zen about this whole thing.”

  “Zen?” My father looked sideways at me.

  “You know, calm. Unruffled.”

  “She’s an adult.”

  “Plenty of adults freak out at the C-word, Dad.” Like him, though he didn’t display that like most people.

  “I don’t know what to tell you, Elizabeth. Your mother is a strong woman. It’s part of why I married her.” He still walked like an Army guy, with perfect posture and even steps.

  “Do you think it’ll be good news today?”

  He checked his watch. “We should head back.”

  I sighed. “Okay, Dad.”

  Mom had changed into a hospital gown while we were gone. Her doctor was there with a clipboard.

  “Hi, folks. I was just going over the procedure with Mrs. Lawson. We’ll be using a local anesthetic, as this is an outpatient surgery. Besides removing the tumor and a bit of the surrounding tissue, I’ll be taking out the nearest lymph node to check if the cancer has spread.”

  “What if it has?” I asked.

  “Then we’ll be going back later and removing the axillary lymph nodes in the armpit to be safe, but I’m hoping that won’t be necessary.” She turned to Mom. “Are you ready?”

  Mom nodded. They left for the operating room. We found the nearest waiting room, and sat.

  An hour was an eternity in a hospital. I got up and called Jacob to tell him what was up, then raided the soda machine. Most of the status lights were red.

  “Orange Crush it is.”

  Dad had more coffee when I got back, and he’d found a golf magazine. I picked up Ladies’ Home Journal.

  At one-hour-fifteen, a nurse came to tell us Mom was in the recovery room.

  “Did they make a big hole?” Maybe not the most polite question to start with, but I was worried about the size of that evil thing.

  She wasn’t offended. “No, honey. The tumor was just a little larger than a shelled peanut.”

  “How do you feel?” Dad asked.

  “Fine. The area is still numb. She played some nice classical music.”

  He took her hand on the other side of the bed and held it. She smiled at him.

  “We can go as soon as they clear my vitals,” she said.

  “Cool.”

  “I have your clothes,” he said. He looked like he didn’t know what to do with himself in there, and found a stool nearby and sat down.

  Once they were satisfied Mom wasn’t going to have any funky reactions, they had her go to the bathroom, then her doctor gave her a list of instructions for wound care and a prescription. Mom dressed in a button-down top and yoga pants, and we went home.

  She ate some toast and a handful of strawberries, since she couldn’t have breakfast before the surgery, and stretched out on the couch.

  “What happens next?” I asked.

  “My doctor wants me to call between six and seven tonight. She’s hoping the pathologist can look at my samples right away.”

  “Yeah.” I thought she looked okay—just tired. “Fingers crossed. Do you need anything?”

  “I’m fine, honey. Go be a teenager.”

  “You don’t need a blanket, or juice, or more to eat?”

  “Really. Besides, Daddy’s home today. I’ll bug him.”

  “I love you, Mom. In case I haven’t said it recently.”

  She smiled.
“Love you, too, Beth. Go on.”

  I went straight to Jacob’s, of course.

  He answered the door. “Hey, Bethie.” We hugged. “How’s your mum?”

  “Okay. Maybe a little tired. There were no glitches, thank God.”

  “I’m glad.” He tightened the embrace, hugging me again. “Knocked at a good time. I’ve been in the garage all morning, and just took a break for lunch.” Two years in London had him saying gar-age instead of garage.

  “Explains why you’re all dusty.” And sweaty. Eww.

  “Don’t wrinkle up your cute little nose. You love it.”

  I followed him into the kitchen. “Where’s your mom?”

  “In her room boxing up her clothes and girly things, since she flies out tomorrow. Speak of the devil.”

  “I thought I heard voices,” Vivian said. “Hello, Elizabeth. How is your mother?”

  “Good so far, thank you.”

  “You’re making lunch, Jacob?”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “There should be enough cold cuts still if Elizabeth is hungry.”

  “I’m alright, Mrs. Lindsey.” I couldn’t call her Vivian here in a house I’d been visiting as a kid. Too weird.

  “Have him make you a sandwich if you change your mind.” She walked back to her bedroom.

  “Have a seat, pet.” He brought me a soda, then set about making his lunch.

  I told him all about the morning, how my parents were dealing, and the waiting for the pathology report. He listened and chewed, interrupting me only to ask for the layman definition of a technical term. It was nice being allowed to talk about it, what with my parents either avoiding the subject or being overprotective.

  “And I don’t even know if Mom’s called my brother, yet!”

  “So call him yourself.”

  “I don’t want to spoil it if she has a plan.”

  “Then ask her if she’s called him.” He rolled his eyes, thinking his solution was the obvious one.

  “When Dad goes back to work.”

  “Whatever. Your family needs to learn to communicate like me and Mum. We say what we’re thinking.”

  “It comes natural to you. We aren’t like that.”

  Though, really, why shouldn’t I call Andrew? I had his info in my address book, and it had been a long time. He was my brother no matter what my parents thought about him.

  Jacob finished his lunch and wiped his hands on his jeans.