My Once and Future Love Page 13
I love you, he thought, brushing sweaty strands off her forehead. Even though you’re not ready for it, yet.
Her eyes were still unfocused, her breathing like she’d run a marathon. “W…w…”
“Wow?”
She nodded once.
Hell, yeah. Absolutely worth picturing the Queen Mother to hold out as long as he could, to see her like this with a silly grin stuck on her face and a pretty pink flush to her fair skin. Her nips were still saluting him. He kissed them thank you. She shivered.
He reluctantly rolled away to drop the condom in the trash, then gathered his pliant girl in his arms for a well-deserved nap.
****
Why couldn’t I move? Where was I?
I opened my eyes. Right. Jacob’s bedroom, with him wrapped around me. Man was like an octopus in his sleep. I needed to pee.
Crap, what time was it?
My left arm was under me and asleep. I wiggled until I could see my watch. Crap, almost midnight.
“Jacob, let me go.”
He muttered something unintelligible but didn’t wake up. I wriggled and squirmed out of his grasp, yanking my arm free.
Oh, hell.
And fell off the bed. He mumbled again and rolled over.
“You’d sleep to a bomb going off.”
I gathered up my clothes—remembering to get my bra and shirt from the dining room—and went in the bathroom. “Great…Hairstyle by Sex.” At least the mark on my neck had started to fade.
Searching through the drawers, I found a comb and hurried to put my locks in some kind of order, using the toilet at the same time. Hey, I really did have to go, and it was efficient use of time management. Dressed again, I headed for the front door.
Crap, the prints. I’d dropped them by the table. Scooping up the envelope, I picked out the shot of the rocks framing the horizon, set it on the table, and left.
I entered my house through the front door and went to the refrigerator for a drink. Feet padded up behind me.
“Just getting in?” Mom asked.
Gulp.
“Pretty much. Lost track of time at the park. Well, goodnight.” I took my glass toward my room.
“Try not to be so late again without saying where you’re going, Elizabeth, even if you are eighteen and out of school.”
I ducked my head. “Yes, Mom. Won’t happen again.” God, I was an ass.
She let me go and I thanked my stars the lights were off so she couldn’t see me well. Safe inside my room, I sunk against the door and sighed. As long as I lived at home, I couldn’t let that happen again. Worry was not good for her condition and I would not be the one to add to that.
Until Mom was well again, she came first.
****
Sunday morning meant brunch with waffles. This Sunday had whole wheat flour waffles and organic strawberries. Mom also had this drink she mixed up that smelled nasty.
“What is that?” I asked.
“Full of antioxidants, supposedly.” She plugged her nose, slugged it down, and shuddered.
“No whipped cream?” Dad asked.
“I’m supposed to cut down on sugar, but you can get it, dear,” Mom said.
He shook his head. “I don’t need it.”
The healthy-type waffles were different, but not bad. I ended up full sooner, too, and volunteered to clear the table before she could get up.
“Elizabeth, I’m perfectly capable of washing dishes.”
“I know, Mom. I’m just doing my part before I go to UCLA, is all.”
She gave me a look that said I know you’re fibbing, but let it go. Dad kissed her cheek and left to play golf. She grabbed her sun hat and gloves and went out front to tend the roses.
When I got back to my room, it wasn’t empty. I nearly screamed in surprise.
“Leave before someone sees you!” I whispered.
Jacob lounged on my bed. “You left without saying goodbye.”
“You were dead asleep and I was going to miss curfew. My mother’s out front, so you can skip over the wall. Go!”
He scratched his chin. “Eh, don’t think so. Mum’s not due for over an hour and I’m bored.”
I put my face in my hands. “You can’t play games like this, Jacob.”
He stood off my bed in one fluid motion. “You have to admit the thrill of getting caught is pretty sexy, love.” He stalked me--him hunter, me prey--and pinned me against the door.
“Stop it.”
His hand slid under the hem of my tee. “Make me.”
“Jacob, please…” I closed my eyes at the feel of his fingers playing with the edge of my bra. Already, my nipples were begging to be touched. It wasn’t fair.
“Please, what, kitten?” he murmured in my ear. He bit the spot on my neck that was a guaranteed turn-on, then kissed me.
The front door closed.
He stepped back, grinning. “You’re right. Now’s not the best time.” He escaped out my window, leaving me breathless and horny as hell.
Son-of-a-bitch. He expected me to be mad enough to chase him. Yeah, well…screw that! I didn’t need kisses or sex or orgasms. Let his hand serve as company for a while…
I marched out to Mom. “You wanna go somewhere?”
She blinked at the sudden request. “Uh…sure, honey.”
“Great. I’ll grab my purse.”
Take THAT, Mr. Lindsey. I was not going to be here for him to torment.
“What do you have in mind, honey?” Mom asked, going for her car.
“I don’t know. I just don’t want to stay in the house today. Craft fair, art show, whatever…”
She smiled. I’d given her carte blanche to shop.
We had the love of photography in common, but I shared more traits with Dad. I was quiet, easily kept to myself, and organized my life to the brink of being obsessive. If you looked in my father’s office, his stacks of papers were perfectly lined up with the edges of his desk, the desk pad perfectly centered with his penholder at the top left, and his supplies always in the exact same place every time in every drawer. You could set a clock by everything he did. And when he said he loved you, you knew it was a big deal because it didn’t happen very often.
Mom was loved by everyone who knew her, a proverbial ray of sunshine. She made friends easily, was still beautiful at nearly fifty, and had a fantastic eye for art. I could tell her anything when I was growing up and her intuition was usually spot-on. Originally a small-town girl, she loved shopping in L.A.
We strolled the paint aisle in an art supply store. She was looking at the watercolors.
“You’ve been quiet today,” she said.
“Have I?”
“Want to talk about it?”
“Nothing to tell.” I walked to the brushes to feel the bristles.
“Mm-hmm.”
“Really, Mom.”
“Hm.” She held up two colors of blue, comparing. “Did you know Mrs. Lindsey is coming back today?”
“Did she call?” Oh-my-god, what did she say?
“E-mail.” She put the one in her left hand in her basket and returned the other to the shelf. “I thought she might have told you, too, since you’ve become close.”
“I haven’t been on the computer today.” I swirled a Taklon brush in my palm. At least that wasn’t a lie.
“Oh. I thought you might be hoping Jacob is coming with her,” she teased.
“Mom…” I put the brush back. “You’re the big deal in my life right now.”
She sighed. “Let’s go find some stickers to label your college stuff,” she said, and left the aisle.
Way to remind her about the Big C, dumbass.
I found her with stickers in hand in the scrapbooking aisle. She chattered on about needing to mark my stuff with my name so people would know their boundaries.
“And for anything you take to the shower, nail polish stays on really well. Do you like these colors of blue? I know it’s your favorite color.”
“Th
e stickers are fine, Mom. Just no sparkles.”
“No sparkles. Check. Ooo, the acid-free paper is on sale…”
I saw the need for a cart coming soon. This was going to be a long trip.
Once Mom got on the thinking-about-my-dorm-room kick, we hit a department store for furnishing my future living space. You’d think I was getting an apartment by everything she said I needed.
“Mom, I get a bed and a desk. There’s no room for a beanbag chair.”
“Aww, but they’re fun. Is it a raised bed?”
“I think so, but my regular stuff has to go under there, like clothes.”
“Oh! You’ll need cubbies.” She detoured for the storage containers. “And a mini-fridge!”
I cringed, thinking about her showing Dad the bill when we got home, and I had nowhere to put this stuff for weeks.
Then, she went home by going down Jacob’s street. “Mom, you turned too soon.”
“No, I didn’t. I’m seeing if Vivian is home.”
Oh, hell… “If she is, you should let her rest. The jetlag, you know…the eight hour time difference is harsh.”
“You’re right. She’ll be ready for bed!”
“Yep. Call tomorrow.” I sighed in relief when Mom turned the corner to go to our house. She and Jacob would not be in the same room together until he swore to behave.
Must have jinxed myself, for he was sitting on our porch swing. Contrary bastard.
“Why, Jacob, so nice to see you!” Mom said when she got out of the car.
I groaned. He was going to eat up her sweetness.
“Afternoon, Mrs. Lawson. My mother is sorry she isn’t up to saying hello.”
“That’s alright, dear. I’ll catch her tomorrow. How is London, with your studies, and the band?”
“Well, it’s not as much fun without Bethie in the audience, but I make do. Have you been to England, Mrs. Lawson?”
“No, unfortunately. But for the most part, I’m more of a homebody. Would you like to come in? I have fresh-squeezed orange juice.”
“I’m sure Jacob has a lot to do, Mom, with all the packing and cleaning.”
“Oh, I could do with some refreshment. Not used to this heat, now, you know.”
I glared at him. He grinned, and took the shopping bags from my mother once she was near so she could unlock the front door.
He’d been outside long enough to break a sweat, and lifted the hem of his tee to wipe his face when her back was turned, exposing his glistening abs. I stuck my nose in the air and went back to the car to retrieve more bags. He was there to take them from me, his cologne blooming in the heat.
“I don’t need help.”
“Just bein’ neighborly, baby.”
“Go home.”
“But that would be rude to your mother.”
“I’ll make an excuse,” I said through gritted teeth.
“Can’t stay mad forever, Beth,” he said, and sauntered into my house. Damn perfect ass.
I really needed a girl friend I could rant about boys to.
Mom picked his ear about the last two years of his life and kept refilling his glass. I remembered thinking once that she thought of him as her third child. Shaking my head, I went back outside to get the rest of the crap we bought. Wasn’t gonna get done just sitting in the car. At least the mini-fridge had to be ordered, so I didn’t have to try carrying that.
I came back inside to hear:
“…So I’d like to take her out tonight, to catch up--”
“I’m busy,” I said.
“Elizabeth, it’s rude to interrupt.”
“Sorry, Mom. But I am. Busy. All the stuff we got has to be prepped and organized.”
“You’re not moving into the dorm tomorrow, honey. It can wait.”
“Yeah, Bethie. It can wait a day.”
“I’d rather not,” I insisted. “Procrastination just leads to more bad habits.”
“Spoken like your father.” She sighed, and shrugged. “Sorry, Jacob.”
“Yep. Sorry, Jacob.”
The look he gave me said this isn’t over.
“Give my regards to your mother, dear, and I hope she’s feeling better in the morning,” Mom said.
“Will do, Mrs. Lawson. Later, Bethie.”
I waved half-heartedly, pulling my new sheets out for the wash.
“Elizabeth, where are your manners today? Walk your friend home.”
“Mom… I’m in the middle of something here, and he’s only around the corner.”
She shook her head, frowning, left the room, and came back with a packaging tape dispenser. “This will make sealing boxes nice and quick.” She handed it to me.
I handed it to him. “See ya.” I didn’t care if she chewed me out once he left.
He winked at me and opened the front door. I went to my room just to make sure he didn’t go around and try the same trick from this morning.
Today was really giving me a headache.
I locked my window shut that night. The curtains over my windows were closed, too.
What happened to the sweet boyfriend of Saturday morning? Did he think he could take me whenever he wanted? I was starting to regret ever sleeping with him in the first place.
Chapter Fourteen
Mom walked over to the Lindsey’s Monday morning with muffins. I took the advantage to go to the college. Couldn’t be found easily on a campus that large, haha. When I got home in the evening, I played Scrabble with Dad.
That night was another of wary, but uninterrupted, sleep. Had I won?
By afternoon, I got curious and peeked through the holes in the decorative blocks at the top of the fence. Jacob came out a minute later carrying a box labeled “Goodwill” on the side. He set it down on the patio, revealing he was working without a shirt. Stretching his arms above his head, he walked back inside, leaving the sliding door open.
It was just vanity. He didn’t want to get his shirts dirty.
“Sweetheart, what are you doing?”
I spun around, clutching my chest. “Nothing.” I walked back into the house.
“Elizabeth, if you still like the boy, just tell him.”
Heh…oh, Mom… “I’m not pining. Trust me.”
“Then why were you spying on his house?” She started making iced tea.
“It’s…we’re having a fight.”
Her brow furrowed in confusion. “From London?”
“Kind of. He’s just…really annoying right now. I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Okay, honey. You know I’m here if you want to talk, right?”
“Yep. But I’ve got this one.”
She smiled and touched my cheek. “You’re so grown up.”
I blushed. “Mom…” If she started getting sentimental, then she’d get teary, then I’d get teary, and nobody needed to see that.
She was a little weird all day. I learned why when Dad came home.
The surgery was Thursday.
“Short notice,” I said to Mom.
Busy hospital, blah, blah; take the slot when we could get it, blah, blah… Yes, I absolutely wanted it out of her, but I also wanted to prepare. I spent most of yesterday in the UCLA library, once I found it, looking up what we’d been told so far. I just…
I didn’t know how she wasn’t panicking
****
The stars were visible tonight. No marine layer or haze blocking their twinkling lights. True, only the brightest shone through the city lights bouncing off the atmosphere, but I was glad for something to stare at while I lay on the deck chair in my backyard.
“Hey.” Jacob. Sitting on top of my fence.
“Not a good time,” I said, turning my head away.
He dropped to the ground. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t share with jerks.”
“I’m sorry.” He shoved his hands in his jeans pockets. “I came to tell you we’re probably leaving Friday. Turns out there’s not a whole lot to ship across the Pond.”
“That’s all you have to say?”
I looked directly at him. “They’re cutting my mother open Thursday morning. Nothing comes after until I know she’s alright. I can’t think that far.”
He swore under his breath, sighed, and crouched on the grass. “I can stay.”
“What about the band, and your apartment?”
“The band is…well, it stinks. I listened to the demo, and I know I can’t stand behind that to send to the record companies. We fought all week and I was glad to escape here.”
“Why didn’t you say something?”
“Got your own burdens. I’ll land on my feet. Always do.”
I spun to sit perpendicular on the chair. “You’ve worked on this for two years. It’s a big deal.”
“Change is inevitable. Maybe it’s a good thing.” Always the optimist.
“Plenty of famous solo artists.”
“Yep.” He smiled in the dark. “So I can stay. If you want me to.”
Heart said yes; head said he’d be a distraction. “I don’t know.” That might’ve come out bad, if I didn’t sound so confused.
He rose and hugged me. I clung to him and buried my face in his Obsession-scented neck. He didn’t try to turn the embrace sexual for once, just rubbed my back and held me. I wasn’t going to cry.
I’m not going to cry.
“I hate seeing you sad,” he said. “What do you need?”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “This is good.”
So, we sat, until our butts started to go numb from sitting on hard plastic, and I remembered why I loved him.
He softly kissed me, just a brush of his lips, and said, “I’ll see you tomorrow sometime.”
I nodded, not trusting my voice. He pulled away and left, hoisting his body over the wall. I heard the soft thud of his feet hitting the ground on the other side, and went in the house.
****
Mom packed her bag for the hospital. I went for a walk, then hopped on the bus to my favorite burger place to medicate my troubles with a milkshake. Chocolate for what ails you had been my motto since I was twelve.
“Thought I’d find you here.” Jacob slid into the booth to sit across from me.
“Hey. How’d you know?”